Message Forum | Telling a Parent

Hi all,

Just another up date by me. I was talking with my momma, as you know I told her about a month ago about my GID. Anyway I was talking to her about my appointment with my gender therapist. She asked how it went and what we talked about. I won't bore you with things I have already posted, but, I told my mom that I wanted to press on with my transition and this is what I had told the Dr.. The Dr. recommended me for Hormones, I have my letter for blood work and other tests, which I will accomplish in a couple of weeks.

My mom asked what will the hormones do? When I filled her in on: 1) emotions will broaden, 2) skin will soften, 3) facial features will also soften, 4) breasts will develop, as fat redistributes, hips and buttocks as well. (Hopefully Transfemme will have similar results before I actually start hormones.)

Anyway, Mom says I need to tell my younger brother and sister before I start developing those secondary female characteristics. I don't know about that. Since we don't live near enough for frequent visits, I think I can wait.

Well, that's it. I of course would like any comments on this or any of my other posts.

Thank you for visiting.

Jenny Marie

Dear Nikki,

The book, "True Selves", is primarily a psychological study of what Transgender-ism/Transsexualism is, theories of what may cause it and the frequency of cases (i.e. 1 out of 250 or so males born have Gender Identity Disorder to varying degrees, stronger in some than others). How it manifests it self, and how it is treated. It covers both MtF and FtM but, the former category is far more prevalent.

It is more of a self help guide to understanding GID for family, friends and co-workers. Go to http://www.amazon.comand look at the table of content to get a better idea of what is in there. You can search for that particular book or i suggest seaching under the topic of transgender MtF for a more comprehensive listing.

For help from our point of view, I would suggest http://www.tsroadmap.com. This site is for those of us who truly desire to be women. It is well thought out and arranged intelligently. With many suggestions of books and film, both for us and for those we wish to tell.

I hope this helps you, Nikki. If you have more questions, please pm me.

Karen

Post edited 8:05 pm – June 24, 2010 by Jenny M.

To all my fellow T-girls.

Right now, I would wager that a big concern of yours, and it was mine as well, is telling a parent that you want to be a girl, their daughter that is. There is no greater fear than to be rejected by those who have raised you, cared for you and those who you look up to. This is understandable, no denying it.

But, it must be done at some point. And it should be done sooner than later. A big regret of mine is being so ashamed that I was paralized into staying quite so long that I have wasted so many years where I could have known a greater happiness transitioning earlier in my life.

Instead, I find myself at 48 years old, wondering how many good years I'll have left after completing my transformation. I plan on at least a year, maybe more before I'm ready to step out on a somewhat full-time basis as Jenny M. Whereas, if I had found the courage just to voice my confusion over my gender, maybe my parents would have been able to find out something of this condition and its treatment.

Now, I said it was a concern of mine. You see, I told my mother this past weekend! (My father is deceased)

When I first started to explain about a secret I had been hiding since I was a small boy, my momma assumed I was about to tell her I was gay. I assured her that wasn't the case, that I really do love women. I said in my early teens is when I figured it out and I was ashamed, embarrassed to even admit to myself that I wanted to be a girl. I stressed that this desire, this need only gets stronger as time goes on. I told of borrowing my sisters clothes and make-up. And my grandmothers cocktail dress.

I told her about my Dr.'s diagnosis, about telling my wife, and about my boss finding out and confronting me. How I tried putting it behind me once again. But to no avail.

She was dumbfounded at first. Understandable as I am a tall, handsome, married man at present time. But when she found her voice, she uttered words music to my ears: "I still love you". She asked one or two questions, to which I responded, "I know what I want to do but I'm not sure how it will go." I said I was signed up for laser hair removal of my facial hair and that I had re-established contact with my therapist. We left it there for the night.

The next morning, She stated: "What bothers me most is that you haven't been truly happy." "No momma I haven't." And "That means your marriage has been a sham." "No momma, I really hoped that falling in love with G___ was going to save me. It just hasn't gone that way." She also stated that this would end my marriage. I agreed, though I hope not.

We talked a few more times that day and the next, before I left for home. I feel better having told her, and wonder still how she will react when Jenny finally comes out of the closet for good.

There was a lot of emotion on my part, but not as much as I had feared. Having my older sister there helped, but I don't think I really needed her. I hope this post helps at least some of you. And I invite any questions or comments on this topic. I will be sending a book, "True Selves", to my mother. This book has specifics about transgenderism/trans-sexuality for family friends and co-workers. I recommend this for everyone here as well.

Thank you for reading this.

Jenny M.